A common thought pattern that holds people back is the phrase ‘things will be better when...[x, y, or z happens].’ Pause for a moment now - when have you thought or said that?

I thought it this morning about 5 minutes before I started this blog! Specifically it was: 'after this really busy week I have ahead, THEN I’ll relax'.

So today I am certainly practising what I preach. Because I caught that sentence (the way I have taught you before through mindful awareness), and got ready to re-frame it. Usually, I’m pretty good at catching negative thoughts before they’re fully formed. But this one is sneaky because it’s not really negative, it’s more that it’s dis-empowering.

By saying, things will get better when...we’re essentially saying that they can’t be better right now. We have to wait for something to happen before we can feel better.

Which is nonsense.

It’s nonsense because our thoughts trigger our emotions. So it’s not just possible, but regular good practice to be replacing unresourceful thoughts with positive ones, to purposely trigger positive emotions.
Positive emotions make it easier to get positive outcomes.

So the action this week is to look out for this sneaky thought pattern and swap it for something more helpful. For example, I could re-frame my thought to:

I’m choosing lots of activities this week that are helping me make progress. Next week I’m choosing fewer activities so I can feel more relaxed
I’ve overcommitted this week, which is a useful learning experience. I’ll remember this feeling when I make decisions about my Dec schedule
It will be fun to notice how I can find different ways each day to create moments of relaxation e.g. through meditating for 3 minutes or celebrating ticking something off a list.

All of these thoughts are positive reframes that get me in a more empowered and resourceful state to tackle the week ahead. A lot more useful than putting off the positive feeling until x, y, or z happens.

Hit comment and let me know where you’ve managed to catch a thought like this and re-write it with a positive charge.

P.S. Our thoughts have a significant impact on the outcomes we create - so catch the dis-empowering ones and re-frame in the direction you want to head.