A friend shared the phrase ‘truth joke’ with me last week. A truth joke is when a bit of office banter turns into hidden feedback.

Except it’s not really hidden, it’s obvious...and we’ve all heard this type of comment delivered in the office...

For example:
There’s someone on the team who’s often late and it’s become a bit of light relief for the team to say something when he arrives e.g. his colleague Fred says: ‘ohhh you're earlier than usual John, what a shock.’ If John’s ok with this (take care because we all have different boundaries) it could be considered banter.

But then their manager Claire says:
‘Hey pipe down Fred, at least John’s hitting his numbers. Haha joking!’

This isn’t banter. It’s a comment on Fred’s performance by his manager in front of his peers. Hidden in a joke/ flippant comment. This is a truth joke - it’s lazy (and can be inappropriate) management!

Hidden feedback is cheating.

As leaders we need to own our feedback and deliver it clearly one to one.

Tips for delivering constructive feedback:
- Prepare what you want to say and how you can support them
- Tell them in advance you’ll share feedback so they arrive mentally prepared and ready to listen
- Limit it to 2 things they could do better/ differently with specific examples

So the action this week is to call people out on their truth jokes. Follow up with them after you hear it (or interrupt if you’re comfortable) and point out it’s a truth joke.

Hit comment and let me know any truth jokes you notice this week now that you’re radar on for them!

P.S. I'm always inspired by the responses you send me and the articles/ books and ideas you recommend (like the friend telling me about the label they'd given this feedback behaviour - truth jokes!). Your comments often end up fuelling this blog so keep them coming :)