I’ve noticed a trend with high performers. They often create their own pressure. A level of stress, pressure and ‘striving’ can obviously be helpful when working to achieve your goals - but there are moments where surrendering, allowing or pausing will actually allow you to create a better outcome.

I’m sharing this because I’m not great at surrendering. I find it much more comfortable and safe (but tiring, hard work) to push for results. I also find it hard to know when it isn’t necessary to push - where I could ease off the gas a little and get the same results (no one else would even notice I’d held back a little).

It’s worth noticing if this is a pattern for you. By pattern I mean something that replicates in more than one area of your life. For example, I will get a feeling of ‘I should have got more done’ when trying to finish a presentation for a workshop and also get the same feeling about tidying my study. In reality I know the presentation will be better if I write it in a focused power hour when I’m in the zone vs. trying to force myself to do it over half a day when I’m in the wrong frame of mind. It's more effective to surrender to my natural state rather than push and strive.

If you sense that you are creating your own pressure cooker, here are some self-inquiry questions to help identify the problem areas and challenge yourself:

Where are you taking too much responsibility?
Where are you giving too much?
Where are you kicking yourself when you wouldn't kick a friend if they were in the same situation?
Where are you overcompensating?

This insight can be enough to shift your behaviour. It’s an opportunity to check in, notice what’s happening and make a different choice. I’m interested to hear what you observe and shift this week.

You can be exceptional AND keep the pressure you put on yourself in check.

P.S. High performers set high standards, particularly of themselves. But there's a balance to be struck between the energy of pushing & striving and the energy of surrendering & allowing. Pausing to reflect is the way to notice which energy you're in and make adjustments.